enough

I've read recently about "being enough" and I continue to read about it.  I often do not think I am.  Enough, that is.

Enough to handle being the wife of a bipolar husband.

I find myself not knowing what to say or do.  Should I ask him how he's feeling?  Should I pretend all is well?  Should I go through a check list each day, insuring he's not on the verge of a manic rage?

I have so many of my own inadequacies.  I am not patient and not always loving.  Though I want to be.  And it's my desire to be kind and helpful.

Does the wife of a bipolar husband look different or act different than the so called "normal" wife?   I try to be on the alert.  I try to tread lightly.

I don't want him to be uncomfortable.  I don't want him to be angry.  Yet these words seem to come with the territory.

I don't want it to be about me, and my comfort.  I don't want to be selfish.  Yet I want to work on improving the whole crazy scenario.  I want to be enough.

Yet I'm not sure if I will ever be. 

Enough.