down

I truly believe my bipolar husband is currently depressed.  He is struggling with multiple emotional pulls.  There are legitimate reasons for him to be down.

I very much want to help him.  And I can't seem to figure out how.  I ask how he's feeling.  He doesn't seem to want to discuss it much. 

I find myself in the throws of feeling horrible myself.  Partly because of my own insecurities in dealing with his sadness.  Partly because our marriage is in a rough place.  I am confused. I am frightened. 

I keep thinking he'll move out of this darkness.  He seems to want to and seems to be taking steps to help himself move out.  Which I'm thankful for. 

Yet I long to help him.  And I'm not sure if I can.  I long to be his wife, not just in the [he lives with me and we're technically married sense] but in the [I will confide in you sense].  The {for better or for worse} type of thing.